Finding myself

This part of my life is called: finding myself. 

I‘ve been preaching about society’s dysfunctional patterns for a long time now. Some of you know my hate speeches about the 9to5 society, about jumping right into work after finishing school or university, about the necessary house, the big car, and the obligatory partner for life. 

There is something inside of us that always wants more. We live with our parents, we want our own apartment. There we want to have it all worked out and decorated, then we want a second TV, we want an extra room, so we want a house and once we have the house we want a pool and another house, closer to the ocean or in the mountains. Something inside of us always craves more, never settles with what there is. Constant wanting draws us into the future, makes us blind to what we’ve already achieved, and creates deep suffering. Not just for us, but mainly for our planet. 

So in the end, we get so attached to the general idea of how it has to be according to friends, neighbors, and family that we kind of forget how to work out what we want. We are attached to the outcome of each stage in life, and once we’re there, we don’t take any time to enjoy, we want more because – that’s what we are taught. Holding on for a moment, enjoying, being present with what we have is truly lacking in modern days world. 

I haven’t worked it out, honestly not. I‘m breaking out of the wheel just to realize that having a freelancing business basically creates your own wheel. I‘m still attached to the whole idea of the house, the security, and the so-called „normal“. But I am giving myself time to find out if that’s what I actually want or just a behavioral trait, imprinted by the world we’re living in. 

There is a beautiful term in yogic philosophy. As a part of the eight limbs of yoga, ashtanga, Patanjali mentions Santosha in his Yoga Sutras. 
Santosha literally means contentment or satisfaction. In this Niyama, he motivates us to appreciate what we have, celebrates small things, and not look for happiness outside.

Because we don’t have to. All we‘re looking for is already within.