Trigger warning ⚠️
Just recently, I got into a conversation with a woman, 40+, healing industry. We were chatting about god and the world when she asked me about the message I share here. Besides presenting a certain type of lifestyle, I have created a space to share my passions for travel&arts but mainly want to raise awareness of issues related to sexism, abuse and gender injustice.
I told her I never met a single woman older than 20 who didn’t make experiences with some kind of sexual harassment in the past, never. She was smiling and said – there you go, now you did.
I looked at her, little bit confused. After a few seconds she said it again: I never made any experiences with sexual harassment, abuse or sexism. I keep on looking at her. A couple of moments passed by, filling the silence in between us with unspoken questions.
You know, she said then, just once I was at the beach and some guy flashed his cock. That was weird, but me and my friend screamed loud and he ran away. I remember some uncle as well, touching me in private spots when he came to visit, but he did it with all the young girls. And another time, a guy few years older than me send me a letter describing what he wants to do with me when he sees me next. I thought we were just friends. And another time, some guy in a bar just grabbed my boobs while walking past me out of the bathroom. But except that, I never made any bad experiences. Just when I come home at night sometimes, there are guys hanging around the fuel station and sometimes, on bad days, they follow me a couple of streets. But the whistle and scream all the time at any women walking by, so it’s not a big deal.
All of this is sexual harassment, some form abuse and especially one thing: NOT OKAY!
Looking at the fact that a 40+ women made a bunch of experiences of that kind, but is still saying that nothing ever really happened is terrifying. It shows that certain types of fucked up, conscious and threatening behavior of the masculine are still labeled as „okay“, as „just what men do“ and as „just a joke“.
So here a little list with what sexual harassment actually is, what you don’t have to tolerate in any way and what needs to be seen as what it is: a crime.
⁃ Unwanted sexual innuendo.
⁃ Unwanted sexual attention, like staring or suggestive comments and gestures.
⁃ Catcalling. Anybody aggressively or invisibly sexually calling after you in the street commits a crime.
⁃ Verbal sexual propositions or sexual comments about your body.
⁃ Flashing of private parts in public places – scream loud! People will help.
⁃ Dic pics. Receiving unwanted photo or video material of genitals can’t be tolerated and must be reported
⁃ Any act of verbal or nonverbal based on sex or sex stereotypes.
⁃ Circulating of written material or pictures to humiliate you. If you send nudes, make sure your face is not showing. If they pop up anywhere else then where you send them to, contact the police.
⁃ Any form of touching your body, especially in private parts. Doesn’t matter if it’s a friend, family or your partner.
⁃ Abuse of power positions or asking for sexual favors in order to some kind of reward.
⁃ Consent is key. If there is no clear YES, it’s a NO.
⁃ Inappropriate jokes about gender, sexuality or your body.
This list can be extended into eternity. Please contact me if you’re missing a key point!
Any gender can be on the receiving and on the giving end. It doesn’t matter if it occurs by or against an individual of any sex, gender identity, gender expression or sexual orientation – if you notice someone suffering, speak up. Maybe not right there if the situation doesn’t allow it, but you can always offer help, call the police secretly or talk to any authorities. Please help. You might need some rescue too one day.
All the mentioned examples are criminal acts who will be prosecuted if they are reported. You don’t need to tolerate anything that makes you feel uncomfortable.
If you are on the receiving end – there is not need to feel any kind of shame. It’s not, and it’s never, your fault.
Reach out. You’re not alone.
Soul love to all the powerful women out there ♥️