The following text is to be understood as a very provocative and very exaggerated representation of actual events.
Monday, first day at univesity. Per zoom, of course. Corona times. Master of architecture. Why? Because I have no idea what else to do. Okay, I do, but I can’t live from surfing and writing evil stuff about universities. So why? Because everybody says: Come on, do your master, you need that for your career. Career? Do I want that? I don’t know. Anyway, on Monday I had my introduction event. Nice to see all the faces, nice to hear my professor talking, interesting topics, much input and good conclusions about…. life and her projects and her success and her career and…yes, about what? I remember her apologizing for the corona situation. I decide to blame her all the way. She speaks for 3 hours and after that I really don’t know what she was talking about. Mental cum, profiling and self expression. Was there something important? I don’t think so, except the fact that career really turns people into… Aaah forget it, let’s give it a go. On Monday, I smile about it.
On Tuesday when I have my first class, structural engineering, I am positively surprised in the beginning and then my attention span is steadily decreasing. 3 1/2 hours listening is too much, too passive and too exhausting. He gives us a small homework and I am curious and excited to start doing my research about self-organizing natur patterns. Ha, what a childish anticipation I feel there. If I’d only knew. After we finished I experience a nice little surprise: Another professor finally managed the massive obsticle of online teaching, learned what a computer actually is and invites us with a lot of pride and excitement into another zoom meeting. The same guy who told us yesterday that the first session will be next week, just saying. We watch him preparing his class on his shared screen for 15 minutes and then he starts to show random examples of buildings, projects from last semester and websites. First I really try to follow, then I give up. On Tuesday, I sigh and think about the beautiful things in life. Tomorrow will be a better day.
On Wendsday I am already maximally and hopelessly overwhelmed. Yesterday evening there were emails coming from all directions. Dear Mrs. Ender, please subscribe to this doodle list to get an notification as soon as the list where you have to sign in again is on the public server so we can send you the link to the final enrollment you have to print out and endorse, then scan and send it to the mail address of your professor from the first semester bachelor because we need to put you on the list for the consultation next week. If you can’t follow this clear instructions we de-register you immediately. Aha. Thanks. I feel slightly uncomfortable when I go to bed after 12 hours of technical problem solving. On Wednesday I fall asleep with with a little pool of aggression somewhere in my gut.
On Thursday I get up at 6 because my first class is supposed to start at 8. Today I start positive, motivated and happy. Perfectly on time at 7.58 I sit in front of my laptop and wait for the host to open up the session. Today is important, he’s going to introduce our main project for this semester. And then I wait and wait and wwwwwwaaait… I startle because something is terribly loud. The fast move hurts my neck. I must have fallen asleep on my desk but now he’s there! Great! 9.15… But okay, happens to everybody, no problem, I’m positive today. He prepared a presentation for us. He’s the hero of the week! After one hour he said what he had to say and we are allowed to ask questions. One guy, already looking guilty, speaks up and tells him he has to leave earlier because of work. These are full time studies, my professor answers, you can’t work on the side. You have to focus 100% on what we are doing here and there is no space for non-university activities.
And there it is, the little pool from last night, erupting like a destructively devouring ancient volcano. Who the fuck do you think you are, dear professor? No problem, we all stop working right now and the neighbour is going to pay the rent. Food we get for free in the streets and model building material pays for itself. I don’t have living costs, not in Germany, ha, no problem. Seriously: You can’t study architecture if your parents don’t support you. This is discrimination, financial racism and elitist behavior of the worst kind. This is building elites, promoting of social separation and creation of a higher social class. So we have to do the master in two years because… we learn better under pressure? Nobody needs to work on the side? There is no need to create beautiful environments for beautiful humans? We are all rich? There is no need to embody the knowledge? Of course not, bulimia learning is the trend of the 21st century, and you don’t study for quality you study for quantity, so get rid of all these silly ideas and visions as fast as possible. Yes, just vomit it out, nice, you don’t need inspiration, creativity and phantasy in the 40 hours office job we want to put you in. Yes children, go to university after school, hurry up, don’t travel, it’s a race, the faster you finish the faster you get a super well paid job in front of a beautiful screen and then you want to build a house but your salary is ridiculous given the rising prices in the housing market so you get a credit from the bank so you never stop working and die in front of your fucking computer because that’s how we life, that’s reality: The system pushes us through education as fast as possible because in the end we are not humans anymore. We are just small cogs in modern day religion called capitalism driven by the free market economy and behind all our consumption we don’t even notice that it is we who are actually consumed.
Welcome back to university.